Will you blow on my dice?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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