Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize