he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just wanna be euthanized
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company