How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.