he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.