you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
