ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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