it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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