It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
