I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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