mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
