so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
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I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.