Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.