she woke up with a sticky ear
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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