on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
