so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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