so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize