Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
