thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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