What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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