Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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