Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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