We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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