We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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