yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
