In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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