Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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