...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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