his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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