doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
