Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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