i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is the high leading the old right now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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