Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
