If i come over, it means nothing
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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