Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize