There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it because I queefed?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
