Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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