and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize