I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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