lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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