I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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