his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize