i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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