I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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