I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize