Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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