Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize