Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
