Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
