I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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