I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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