Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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