shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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